


Starlight

by Superooosssshhhhh



Series: Snokes Pet [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: I Tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:01:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8051989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superooosssshhhhh/pseuds/Superooosssshhhhh
Summary: Kylo struggles with the effects of Snokes abuse as he searches for the map to Skywalker.





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment or leave kudos. Thank you verh much for reading have a fab day :)

When Snoke orders him to find the map to Skywalker Kylo feels a slight amount of dread, part of him doesn't want to track his uncle down to kill him but the other part of him remembers that disobedience leads to punishment and he hates the way Snoke uses him.

The Order follows a rumour of Lor San Tekka having the last piece of the map so he and The Order make their way to Jakku. When they get there Lor San Tekka has given the map to a Resistance pilot, they gather all of the people in the village together and then they bring out a man he barely remembers.

Ben tries to tell him to leave them in peace but that would mean that Kylo would be punished. The old man even tries to remind him of who he was before he claimed the title of Kylo Ren. He activates his lightsaber and holds it above the man he had once seen address his mother as "Princess" instead of General.

He is about to strike the man down but a blaster bolt is fired at him and with a twist of a hand he freezes it, along with the one who fired it. Kylos blood turns to ice in his veins as he sees Poe Dameron. The only friend he had had growing up, he was taller now and broader and had certainly grown in to his looks. There is a look of fear on his face as Stormtroopers take him and drag him before Kylo.

Poe is dumped on to his knees and in true Dameron style he begins to sass Kylo. Part of him is glad that Poe never lost that part of himself. He gives the order for Poe to be taken to the ship but then there comes the matter of the villagers. Lor San Tekka watches him as he gives the order for them to retreat.

Kylo looks at the old man before him, there is a sense of understanding coming from him. Ben begins to tell Kylo that the lives of these villagers are worth whatever Snoke will do to him but he knows that it is wrong. The words 'kill them' are on his tongue but he can't make himself say them.

He looks at aliens and humans alike and sees pain and fear; he can't stand it. The way Ben claws his way through Kylo to order them to leave the villagers alone. He knows that Snoke is slowly getting more imaginative in his punishments and this may put those plans in motion.

Before they leave the village and return to The Finalizer he feels a disturbance in the Force, like a light switching on shining in the darkness, he turns to see a Stormtrooper with blood smeared over his helmet. They stare at eachother for a moment before the rest of the troops board their shuttles.

Poe is taken straight to the interrogation chamber, Kylo returns to his quarters and dreads the inevitable call from Snoke. He takes off his mask and thinks of Lor San Tekka and the villagers, how he should have killed them. He should have proved his worth not only to Snoke but to his Grandfather.

Vader had been a force to be reckoned with, Kylo would never live up to the man or his parents or even his uncle, wherever the man had run away to. He had allowed Ben too close, he had allowed The Light to blind him and he would pay for that. Snoke would see to that.

He had monumentally messed up, he had allowed those people to live when he should have ordered the village to be burned to the ground. He had shown them mercy but there was a price to that mercy that Kylo hates, he is certain that, like always, Ben will survive it as he always had.

He startles when Hux calls for him instead of Snoke, he is to interrogate Poe for the whereabouts of the map. He dons his mask and goes to confront the man he once knew. He fight to keep his emotions in check as he marches to the interrogation chamber where Hux waits outside of it.

The General is a guarded man, there is a faint feeling of disgust coming from the man and a slight hint of arousal. That shocks Kylo, he had not taken Hux for being the type of man that would get off on someone else's pain. He hates that about the redhead, it reminds him so much of Snoke that he very much wants to kill the man.

The men look at eachother for a moment. "I am glad that you could join us Ren. Your assistance is required with the Resistance pilot." He says in his silky accent. Kylo inclines his head and opens the door. Poe is held in place by the chair and Kylo looks at Poe even covered in blood, sweat and bruises he is as gorgeous as he ever was. He walks infront of the golden man.

"I was unaware we had the best pilot in the Resistance aboard." He says in his modulated voice that hides all emotion from his voice. "Tell me what you did with the map." He demands. "Why don't you go fuck a bantha?" Poe pants. "The map." Kylo says as he puts pressure on Poes mind.

He watches the man he once knew scrunch his face up in pain. Ben screams for Kylo to stop but Kylo persists, Ben has some enough damage. The boy he had been had survived Snoke and his punishments, part of him wonders if Ben Solo was ever going to die. "Show me what you did with the map." Kylo says as he pushes in to Poes mind, he puts up a fight and tries to push Kylo out.

"The Resistance will not be intimidated by you." Poe manages to get out as Kylo puts more pressure on his mind. Poe fights him with everything he has in him, Kylo appreciates the man before him. Poe has grown in to a strong confident man and that saddens him, if Snoke had never reached out to him then perhaps Ben would be like Poe but that was nothing but a dream.

He pushes further in to Poes mind only to see a droid, a orange and white BB unit in the yellow sands of Jakku. "You entrusted the map to a droid?" He asks then thinks that's so like him. The next thing he thinks isn't his thought 'he has mind raped me' Kylos blood runs cold and he freezes.

The word rape echoes in his head, he remembers Snokes hands in places they shouldn't be, the taste of Snokes cock as it is shoved down his throat and suddenly the collar he wears beneath his robes tightens and steals almost all the breath from his lungs. His mask seems to shrink and becomes too small. Panic attacks him and twists in his stomach.

Kylo has to get out of the mask, he has to get fresh air so before he can stop himself he pulls off the heavy mask and drops it to the floor, gasping in the recycled air. Deep dark eyes watch him as he falls to his knees and sits on his heels. Sweat causes his hair to stick to his forehead uncomfortably. "Ben?" Says Poe in a voice that is both hurt and shocked.

Kylo wants to say that Ben is dead but he can only continue to sit on his heels and gasp for air. "Relax. Calm your breathing or you'll pass out." As usual Kylo does as he is told, it's what he's good at now. As his nerves return to normal he can't help the shaking of his hands. "You ok now buddy?" Poe asks him with concern that from anyone else Kylo would think was feigned.

He can only nod as his strength drains out of him. Am I as bad as him? Kylo asks himself, the thought makes him gag. He bends forward as he gags and tries not to bring up vomit. He is being watched in silence as he struggles to keep the contents of his stomach. He remembers the taste of Snokes come and the searing pain of being split apart.

Poe watches him as he slowly stops gagging and settles his breathing, he sits there for a moment in silence. I'm not him he tells himself, he's uncertain as to whether it was aloud or not. For a long time the only sound that can be heard is Kylos heavy breathing.

"I've missed you." Poe says suddenly in his silky voice and Kylo looks up at that face he used to love. "We all have." Tears fill his eyes as he looks in Poes eyes. The thought of his family is painful,he had given them up for a life as Snokes enforcer/concubine. It's my own fault he thinks.

He runs his gloved hand through his damp hair. Kylo makes himself stand, put his mask back on and use the Force to put Poe to sleep. He knows what he has to do. Find the trooper from the village, FN-2187, and give him and Poe their best chance of surviving The Order. So he puts things in motion for their survival.

\-----

There was something satisfying about watching the two of them escape, of course he had paid for it Snoke had tore in to his mind and handpicked his most painful memories to torment him with. Leia Organa was one of Snokes favourites to twist and contort in his memories, despite everything he still loves her.

His mind sings in pain as Snoke gives his permission for the destruction of the Hosnian System. He has no way to stop the murder of billions, he watches from The Finalizer as the red light passes through the vastness of space to hit the planets. Terror and pain screams through the Force, it leaves him gasping and shaking as all of their final moments hit him like ice water being thrown on him.

Kylo barely gets time to recover from the devastation he feels when a tip from Takodana about the droid, the 'traitor' and the girl from Jakku. He prepares his shuttle and goes to retrieve the map.

\-----

He leans up the wall as waits for the scavenger girl to wake up, his body aches his mind throbs from Snokes previous assault. Kylo closes his eyes and uses the Force to bury down everything about Snoke, he buries the memories of Snokes 'punishments' and allows his mind to briefly go blank.

Of course this is when she decides to wake up. "Where am I?" She asks, there is a distinctive trace of fear in her voice. "You're my guest." He says, glad that the modulator hides the tiredness in his voice. "What did you do to my friends?" There is anger in her voice as she thinks of his father, the ex trooper now named Finn, his uncle Chewie and the droid.

He can hear their names in the air between them. "You'll be happy to know that they escaped." He says as he feels her relief flood his senses only to be replaced by anger. "You want to kill me." He states to her and she spits back "It happens when you're being chased by a monster in a mask." It shouldn't hit him as hard as it does.

He wants to ask her what makes him a monster but he knows the answer. He had allowed Snoke to use his body, Kylo had only fought a hand full of times only when Snoke had been doing irreversible damage. Without thinking he takes off the mask and the girls eyes widen at his face. He has no idea why, his bruises have healed so there is nothing to stare at really.

"You have seen you the map, show it to me." He orders her and she all but spits in his face. By reflex he pushes in to her mind, he can't ignore the word rapist that echoes through his skull as he remembers Poe. Kylo knows that he can't fail Snoke now, not after the village and allowing Poe and 'Finn' as the girl called him to escape.

His punishment may even be as bad as allowing his Knights to use him again as Snoke watches but he buries that fear deep down. He tries to push deeper in to her mind but he can't. The thought that he is what Snoke is repels him and keeps him on the edge of her mind.

It is hardly a surprise when her thoughts go to his smuggling father. "Han Solo." The name is heavy on his tongue. She glares at his mask as if to ask him "how dare you say that name?" But he ignores the glare. "You think of him as the father you never had. Trust me he would have let you down."

None of them protected him from Snoke, none of the war heroes could keep him safe. They had let him down just as much as he had let them down if not worse. "Now show me the map." She turns her head away from him now as fear hits him in waves as she keeps the map to his uncle locked down. "I could take it but I don't want to." Kylo tells her and he instantly regrets it as her eyebrows rise up qeustioningly.

Bile rises in his throat as he pushes in to her mind, he searches her memories and finds her trying to push him out. Kylo watches her face contort and twist with pain. I can't do this he thinks as he watches her face and taking his moment of reflection, she forces him back towards the edge of her mind.

Kylo doesn't expect her nor want her to reach in to his mind, his defenses aren't as strong as before Snoke had ripped in to his mind so she gets in easily. The girl sees his fear of failure, he pushes why to the deepest part of his mind. No one can know how weak he is, the Master of the Knights of Ren brought to his knees by a simple tug on his collar.

He truly is a trained dog. Snoke would order something and he'd do it and survive until he was dismissed. He fights to keep hold of his secrets, in some twisted way it is justice for all the times he had done what she is learning to do. The girl tears the secret about what Snoke has been doing to him from him.

He tries to stop it but he fails and it plays out in their minds. The collar and chain around Kylos neck is pulled until he is on his knees. He is as naked as a babe and Snoke slowly walks around him tracing his body with his fingers. Until he is behind Kylo then Snoke pushes in to him and the chamber fills with the sounds of flesh hitting flesh.

With a wave of horror he pushes he girl from his mind and stumbles back from her. There is sweat on her skin and her gaze is heavy with pity, he can't help but flee from it. He puts on his mask as he retreats to his room but soon enough he has to take off his mask to breathe.

It gets put back on when he feels Han Solos presence through the Force. Kylo goes in search for him, he finds The Falcon crashed and deserted, he steps aboard his fathers ship and feels all of the love and hate that he, his mother and his father had shared on the ship. Kylo can't help but feel more like Ben than he'd like to admit.

He smiles beneath his mask at the thought of those rare good times with his father. He can't stop Ben from clawing his way through the pit of darkness, pain and misery that is Kylo. The two may share one body but Kylo is a creature of pain and uncertainty; Ben however is a softer thing. Where Kylo is hard Ben is soft and where Kylo is weak Ben is strong, but the fact remains that the two of them are toxic.

He knows that if The Order finds Han then he is dead and Kylo will have to do it. Part of him wants the power it will give him to kill Snoke but the other part of him wants his father to pull him in to a one armed hug and tell him that "Everything's good, kid". News reaches him of the girls escape and he rushes back to the Base.

He has to find her, she is strong with the Force and if Snoke gets her he'll rip her apart just like he did to him. He searches the base for her, it isn't until Kylo gets to the oscillator. He orders the troops to spread out and search for her as does the same. He makes his way across the thin bridge and that's when he hears the name of the boy that was supposed to be dead but isn't.

"Ben!" It echoes in the vastness emptiness of the room. The light of the sun drains away by the second, it is almost saying your time is running out, he spins around to look at Han Solo. He is older than Kylo remembers, his face is aged and there are lines covering it. Just looking at that face is like a slap, Ben kicks and screams but Kylo pushes the boy down.

Han walks forward, Kylo retreats but stops himself before he forces himself to face the man that had sired him. "Take off that mask, you don't need it." Solo says as he walks towards Kylo. "What do you think you'll see if I do?" The mask hides the tremor in his voice. "My son." Han says and it takes everything in Kylo not to flinch. He had never called him son before, mainly kid or Ben. Kylo uses the Force to graze over Solos mind, there is hope, determination and horror.

He pulls back as soon as he feels his fathers horror, it was like a blaster bolt to the heart and it hurt him more than Snoke ever did. Hands that gently shake reach up and pull off the helmet. For a second his fathers face softens as he looks at Kylos face.

His chest hurts as he allows the mask that Snoke had given him falls to the floor, it hits the bridge and creates a massive bang that is as hollow as he is. Kylo looks at his father and watches that face as he says "your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him." He wishes he still had the mask on when that face hardens again.

Han takes a step closer, Kylo wants to scream at him but at the same time Ben wants to run in to his fathers arms and allow himself to be held; in a way that doesn't require his clothes being removed. "My son is alive." After a moment he says "I miss you." That is the second time in two days that someone has told him that.

He looks down to the floor at Hans feet, "It's too late." He says, his voice full of emotion and tears fill his eyes. Father and son look at eachother even being arms length away from eachother Kylo notes that they feel so far apart like the divide between them can never be mended. "No it's not." He knows it is, Snoke had used him up and had left nothing.

He doesn't realise has spaced out until Han places a hand lightly on his shoulder, this time he hold back the flinch. Han doesn't pull his hand off of Kylo if anything he tightens his grip until he pulls away from the father that he had desired as a boy. "Please don't touch me." He mutters as he remembers the touch of Snoke.

Sadness passes over Hans face at those words. He knows Snoke wants him to strike Han dead but he doesn't. "I need you to help me." Ben says those words not Kylo. "Anything." Would he really help him? Would Han even care about him? Ben unclips Kylos lightsaber and holds it out to Han. Two hands hold the saber, Ben stares at Han who stares back.

Ben twists the lightsaber to face his chest, he waits for the red light to tear through him and end his pain. "Please." He croaks out, he wants it to end, he doesn't want to endure Snoke and his cock, Ben needs to be free. Han obviously has other ideas when he pulls his hand away looking horrified and sad, he looks so sad.

The tears that lined his eyes run down his cheeks as anger and humiliation wage a war in his heart. "Come home." It is part order and part plea and Ben nods before Kylo can stop him. Han takes him by the arm and pulls him towards the ex storm trooper, the scavenger girl and is that his uncle Chewie?

The troops he came in with open fire on them as he and Han walk. Kylo sends them back to the ones that shot them, he doesn't miss them it seems that Snoke was good for something. They fall to the floor either writhing in pain or already dead. When the explosives start going off it shakes the walls, Han takes hold of Kylos hand and leads him to the door that leads outside.

They struggle against the door, Kylo forces the door apart and just manages to push Han through before it snaps closed. More explosions go off and Kylo feels something sharp hit him in the stomach, he clutches it and winces at the pain. He is happy that Han is gone, the smuggler is probably on his way to The Falcon with Chewie, the ex Stormtrooper and the scavenger girl knowing that he tried.

He smiles as he sinks to his knees, he is going to die and he really doesn't mind. This way he won't have to look at himself. He closes his eyes and waits for the base to crumble in to nothing. The hissing sound of metal melting makes him open his eyes, he sees a bright beautiful blue blade cuts through the door.

"Come on." FN-2187 says as he looks nervously around. He slowly gets to his feet as pain flares and he aches all over. He steps through the crude hole in the door and is pulled in the direction of The Falcon. They don't run for long before Kylo is left panting at the pain in his chest and stomach, he wants to open his robes and survey the damage but he'll have to wait.

The scavenger girl calls out from the ramp of The Falcon for them to "Get your asses moving." They make it up and on the ship as the planet begins pulling itself apart. They immediately get off of the planet and begin their journey to The Resistance Base. It almost feels like a dream with his father and uncle back at the helm of The Falcon.

He is sweating as he sits leaning against the wall of the seating area as the scavenger girl and FN-2187 embrace eachother like long lost friends, he barely notices that it slowly gets harder to breathe as his ribs seem to tighten. His vision begins to turn black, he falls to his side and is unconscious before his head hits the floor.


End file.
